At the moment I can't really be bothered with this blogging stuff. I have no energy or motivation to blog. I'm still watching my intake and exercising whenever I can but sitting in front of a computer screen and writing about it no longer appeals to me. It's lost its appeal. When I first began this blog {not that long ago} I used to love writing posts and small updates about stuff but now it seems like a chore which is why I've been away for so long {among other things}.
So now, this is an official hiatus notice. I might be back, I might not. Either way I'll probably write a post on my decision and why but for the moment I'm just over it. I'm following everyone's blogs over on Bloglovin so I'm not gonna miss your updates, I just won't be updating my own blog for a while.
I'm sure you girls understand. Hopefully I'll get my blogging mojo back and I'll come back but until then I definitely need a break. Until then stay strong my lovelies, you can do this <3 xo
Monday, 30 July 2012
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Food diary!
Well, today has been more or less a complete failure. You'll see why soon.
Breakfast: 98 calories
Moccona instant coffee: 2 calories
Splenda: 0 calories
Extra slim milk: 29 calories
Cauliflower: 3 calories
Trident sweet chilli sauce: 50 calories
Egg whites, 1/3 whole egg: 4 calories
Lunch: 384 calories
1/3 dessert shell: 33 calories
Anathoth strawberry jam: 8 calories
Soft sandwich roll: 142 calories
Satay chicken: 48 calories
Butter, 1tsp: 51 calories
Mayonnaise: 90 calories
Grated carrot: 5 calories
Lettuce: 7 calories
Snack: 108 calories
Mini Christmas mince pies: 108 calories
Dinner: 241 calories
Apple cinnamon muffin: 140 calories
Chicken and bacon ravioli: 101 calories
Daily goal: 800 calories
Calories consumed: 830 calories
Calorie expenditure: 120 calories
Net calories: 710 calories
I've upped my calorific intake to 800 because that's what I used to eat anyway. Hopefully this will make everything a lot easier and won't make me gain :/ 100 calories is a lot to increase by. I'm kind of scared actually. If I've gained {which I think I would have} then I'm going to make up for it by taking it off the calories I can eat tomorrow. According to my diet plan I'm supposed to be burning at least 400 calories per day through exercise and I didn't do that today >.<
I'll update you lovely people on what's happening to my body tomorrow <3
PS - I WEIGHED IN AT 45.3KG THIS MORNING. I was 45.7 just yesterday! WOOHOO.
Breakfast: 98 calories
Moccona instant coffee: 2 calories
Splenda: 0 calories
Extra slim milk: 29 calories
Cauliflower: 3 calories
Trident sweet chilli sauce: 50 calories
Egg whites, 1/3 whole egg: 4 calories
Lunch: 384 calories
1/3 dessert shell: 33 calories
Anathoth strawberry jam: 8 calories
Soft sandwich roll: 142 calories
Satay chicken: 48 calories
Butter, 1tsp: 51 calories
Mayonnaise: 90 calories
Grated carrot: 5 calories
Lettuce: 7 calories
Snack: 108 calories
Mini Christmas mince pies: 108 calories
Dinner: 241 calories
Apple cinnamon muffin: 140 calories
Chicken and bacon ravioli: 101 calories
Daily goal: 800 calories
Calories consumed: 830 calories
Calorie expenditure: 120 calories
Net calories: 710 calories
I've upped my calorific intake to 800 because that's what I used to eat anyway. Hopefully this will make everything a lot easier and won't make me gain :/ 100 calories is a lot to increase by. I'm kind of scared actually. If I've gained {which I think I would have} then I'm going to make up for it by taking it off the calories I can eat tomorrow. According to my diet plan I'm supposed to be burning at least 400 calories per day through exercise and I didn't do that today >.<
I'll update you lovely people on what's happening to my body tomorrow <3
PS - I WEIGHED IN AT 45.3KG THIS MORNING. I was 45.7 just yesterday! WOOHOO.
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
Disaster #3
That's right - another one. This time in the form of a binge.
Mince and vegetable pie. When that was gone my mum said she left some mince in a cup for later. I ate it.
Bananas, oranges, pears and lettuce. Who the fuck binges on fruit or vegetables?!
Chocolate.
Pastry cups with jam filling.
Chocolate mousse cake.
Coffee.
Crackers with cheese and sweet chilli sauce.
99% of that was eaten within half an hour I'd say and I only managed to actively burn about 200 calories from walking on the treadmill. I gained 0.5kg / 1.1lb overnight. That's disgusting. I know to some of you that doesn't seem to be a lot of food but I never listed the quantity in which I ate it. That's the thing that constitutes a binge, isn't it? People also have their own ideas of a binge. For some it could simply be 100 calories over their goal, for others its 1,000 over, others its a full binge of 4,000 calories.
Today my mum and her boyfriend are going out to the city for a food tasting day so I'm taking advantage of their absence and doing a liquid fast for today. I might continue it onto tomorrow, we'll see. Anyway, the only thing that is going to pass through my lips will be water and maybe chewing gum. I'm yet to decide on that since it contains 9 calories for two pieces.
I'm not in a very good mood today. Waking up to 45.7kg / 100.8lb is not good for me. In fact, it's doing my head in. I had a goal of getting to 93lb by the end of this month and what have I done? Gained weight and maintained it. Ugh. I'm sick of this. I'm sorry girls, I'm just not on form today. Maybe if I go for a walk I'll get my endorphins up. Hopefully.
I've reassessed my goals too. I wanted to lose 1.3kg / 2.9lb in four days and it was possible, at the beginning of the goal. Now? Not so much. So instead I just want to get rid of that pesky .7kg / 1lb that has magically appeared on my body overnight. When I go to town I want to be a solid 45kg / 99lb. I must be under 100lb.
Stay strong <3
xo
Mince and vegetable pie. When that was gone my mum said she left some mince in a cup for later. I ate it.
Bananas, oranges, pears and lettuce. Who the fuck binges on fruit or vegetables?!
Chocolate.
Pastry cups with jam filling.
Chocolate mousse cake.
Coffee.
Crackers with cheese and sweet chilli sauce.
99% of that was eaten within half an hour I'd say and I only managed to actively burn about 200 calories from walking on the treadmill. I gained 0.5kg / 1.1lb overnight. That's disgusting. I know to some of you that doesn't seem to be a lot of food but I never listed the quantity in which I ate it. That's the thing that constitutes a binge, isn't it? People also have their own ideas of a binge. For some it could simply be 100 calories over their goal, for others its 1,000 over, others its a full binge of 4,000 calories.
Today my mum and her boyfriend are going out to the city for a food tasting day so I'm taking advantage of their absence and doing a liquid fast for today. I might continue it onto tomorrow, we'll see. Anyway, the only thing that is going to pass through my lips will be water and maybe chewing gum. I'm yet to decide on that since it contains 9 calories for two pieces.
I'm not in a very good mood today. Waking up to 45.7kg / 100.8lb is not good for me. In fact, it's doing my head in. I had a goal of getting to 93lb by the end of this month and what have I done? Gained weight and maintained it. Ugh. I'm sick of this. I'm sorry girls, I'm just not on form today. Maybe if I go for a walk I'll get my endorphins up. Hopefully.
I've reassessed my goals too. I wanted to lose 1.3kg / 2.9lb in four days and it was possible, at the beginning of the goal. Now? Not so much. So instead I just want to get rid of that pesky .7kg / 1lb that has magically appeared on my body overnight. When I go to town I want to be a solid 45kg / 99lb. I must be under 100lb.
Stay strong <3
xo
Monday, 23 July 2012
Disaster #1 and #2
Well, yesterday was a total disaster. Restriction and exercise? Didn't happen. At all. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and in whatever quantity I desired. Does that sound like a good way to lose weight? No, I didn't think so. But because yesterday was such a disaster I decided not to post a food diary because it's just so shameful. That and the fact that I don't know the names of half the things or the amount of calories in the food >.< Bad, bad, bad. That was disaster number one and because of my eating habits yesterday I've gone up 0.1kg which brings me to 45.4kg today. I will not let myself get to 45.5kg. Not again. I'm planning on going for a bike ride soon if the weather holds out and then when my mum and her partner go to the vet's I'm going to go for a nice stroll on the treadmill. Maybe.
That leads me to disaster number two. You girls know how there's a 'safety key' on treadmills that you can pull out if you're dying? You know how the key has to fit into a little notch that makes the treadmill work? Well, it broke so now the treadmill doesn't work >.< I've been thinking about it though and I should just be able to put a small twig or stone in there and the safety key should make it work. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. The treadmill was the main way that I lost weight because it burns the most calories in the smallest amount of time. I CAN'T LOSE MY TREADMILL. NOT NOW.
Okay, onto happy thoughts. Wait, I'm actually having happy thoughts?! Yes, yes I am ;)
I actually woke up this morning and I felt alright about my body which is weird. I never, ever feel good about it. There's nothing special, as you can see from my 'progress page'. I actually feel confident for once and I'm amazed, especially since my weight went up last night. Hopefully it'll be able to hold up for the rest of the day. Goodness knows I need a day where I actually feel good about myself.
Update: I looked outside and the weather is completely awful. The grey clouds are definitely rolling in thick and fast now. It looks like there's going to be a major storm any minute now. Ugh, ugh, ugh. 160 calories gone out the window. Looks like I'm going to have to find another way to burn those off.
Light cleaning for 85 minutes = 161 calories burned
Heavy cleaning for 71 minutes = 161 calories burned
General dancing for 47 minutes = 160 calories burned
Jumping jacks for 26 minutes = 163 calories burned
Sit ups for 27 minutes = 161 calories
And there are my options, right there. I'm actually on a diet plan of eating 700 calories per day and burning 280 calories. I did this and I dropped half a kilo in one day. It was brilliant. So hopefully if I can stick to this I should have dropped 1.5kg or 3.3lb by the time Thursday comes around. We'll see. My eating habits are still pretty shot after O week.
Righteo, I'm gonna stop complaining about life and go out and do something. Anything actually. I'll update you lovely people later!
Stay strong lovelies <3
xo
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| At days I feel like this... |
Okay, onto happy thoughts. Wait, I'm actually having happy thoughts?! Yes, yes I am ;)
I actually woke up this morning and I felt alright about my body which is weird. I never, ever feel good about it. There's nothing special, as you can see from my 'progress page'. I actually feel confident for once and I'm amazed, especially since my weight went up last night. Hopefully it'll be able to hold up for the rest of the day. Goodness knows I need a day where I actually feel good about myself.
Update: I looked outside and the weather is completely awful. The grey clouds are definitely rolling in thick and fast now. It looks like there's going to be a major storm any minute now. Ugh, ugh, ugh. 160 calories gone out the window. Looks like I'm going to have to find another way to burn those off.
Light cleaning for 85 minutes = 161 calories burned
Heavy cleaning for 71 minutes = 161 calories burned
General dancing for 47 minutes = 160 calories burned
Jumping jacks for 26 minutes = 163 calories burned
Sit ups for 27 minutes = 161 calories
And there are my options, right there. I'm actually on a diet plan of eating 700 calories per day and burning 280 calories. I did this and I dropped half a kilo in one day. It was brilliant. So hopefully if I can stick to this I should have dropped 1.5kg or 3.3lb by the time Thursday comes around. We'll see. My eating habits are still pretty shot after O week.
Righteo, I'm gonna stop complaining about life and go out and do something. Anything actually. I'll update you lovely people later!
Stay strong lovelies <3
xo
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Rain, rain go away...
Last night we got our trampoline back after being without it for almost two whole years. I've missed that beast. Looking out the window and seeing it sitting on our front lawn makes me feel like a little kid again. I just want to go and jump on it. Well, it's raining which effectively cancelled my mad jumping plans. Boo. Weather, I'd just like to say that you suck >.<
This morning I woke up to 45.3kg / 99.9lb. I guess this is my official weight. That's okay. I was actually expecting a lot worse considering I was at O week for the past four days{ish}. You don't tend to eat overly healthy when you're there or when you're with friends. Next time I go there I think I'm going to just eat fruits/vegetables and go across the road and buy some premixed salads for me to eat at meals. There's no way I'm going to eat more noodles/Pizza Hut/Reeces pieces chocolate bites. Ugh. But for the record, I only ate about eight tiny chocolate pieces when there was roughly thirty or forty in the packet. I was sneaky and dropped them on the ground or into a bin whenever we passed one until I finally had none left. Sneaky, sneaky ;)
I've come up with a goal: lose 1.3kg / 2.9lb in four days time. I think it's possible. Let's do this thing.
So far I've had:
1/2 C premium Keri orange juice: 53 calories
1/4 piece of fry bread: 75 calories {roughly}
Nescafe instant vanilla latte made with boiling and cold water: 79 calories
All of that adds up to be 207 calories meaning I have 493 calories left for the rest of the day. That's plenty in my book. Lots of water and fruit are definitely on the agenda for today. I'm planning on having three meals that add up to 200 calories each which will be my main meals eg; breakfast, lunch and dinner then I can have two snacks worth 50 calories or one snack worth 100 calories.
Another thing I woke up to: ribs. When I lie down my rib cage is starting to stick out so I actually have a gap where I can place my hand. There's a nice little dip in there now, one that I haven't seen for a very long time.
This morning I woke up to 45.3kg / 99.9lb. I guess this is my official weight. That's okay. I was actually expecting a lot worse considering I was at O week for the past four days{ish}. You don't tend to eat overly healthy when you're there or when you're with friends. Next time I go there I think I'm going to just eat fruits/vegetables and go across the road and buy some premixed salads for me to eat at meals. There's no way I'm going to eat more noodles/Pizza Hut/Reeces pieces chocolate bites. Ugh. But for the record, I only ate about eight tiny chocolate pieces when there was roughly thirty or forty in the packet. I was sneaky and dropped them on the ground or into a bin whenever we passed one until I finally had none left. Sneaky, sneaky ;)
I've come up with a goal: lose 1.3kg / 2.9lb in four days time. I think it's possible. Let's do this thing.
So far I've had:
1/2 C premium Keri orange juice: 53 calories
1/4 piece of fry bread: 75 calories {roughly}
Nescafe instant vanilla latte made with boiling and cold water: 79 calories
All of that adds up to be 207 calories meaning I have 493 calories left for the rest of the day. That's plenty in my book. Lots of water and fruit are definitely on the agenda for today. I'm planning on having three meals that add up to 200 calories each which will be my main meals eg; breakfast, lunch and dinner then I can have two snacks worth 50 calories or one snack worth 100 calories.
Another thing I woke up to: ribs. When I lie down my rib cage is starting to stick out so I actually have a gap where I can place my hand. There's a nice little dip in there now, one that I haven't seen for a very long time.
 |
| One day I'll be able to wear a bikini and look like this. |
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Food diary!
Today I've been a zombie so I've virtually survived on coffee all day long. So much coffee and not the 'healthy' stuff either. I'm talking about the instant vanilla latte packets that you pour into a cup. The kind that's 79 calories per sachet not including milk or sugar. Ugh. I honestly have no idea about the calories for the other food I ate so instead of having a wonderful list of foods and numbers I'm simply going to put what I ate for today. Deal? Yes, I think so.
Breakfast:
Nescafe instant vanilla latte, made with cold water instead of milk and no sugar
Snack:
Nescafe instant vanilla latte, made with extra slim cold milk
Two pepper crackers
Lunch:
Nescafe instant vanilla latte, made with extra slim cold milk
Banana
Mouthful of mountain dew
Dinner:
Two white buns with one tsp butter each and chicken
One scoop of taco salad {small}
Nescafe instant vanilla latte, made with extra slim cold milk and half a teaspoon of Chelsea sugar
Dessert:
Half a slice of chocolate mousse cake - an extra small serving but probably with max calories >.<
And that is my food diary for today. Basically a lot of coffee and some food when coffee didn't seem to be enough. All the food I ate was in tiny portions except for dinner >.< damn it. Stupid chicken. I could have stopped at one bun but no, I'm a greedy little bitch. Which was proven when I went back for dessert even when I wasn't hungry. It doesn't matter if I took a smaller serving than normal, it just proved that I'm nothing but greedy. Greedy, greedy, greedy.
Tomorrow I'm planning on eating between 600-800 calories before returning to my usual of 600-700 calories on Monday. I'm supposed to be going clubbing again on Thursday next week so I have to lose some weight. I'm wanting to lose roughly two kilograms which is possible for me but it would require some work. No bread, porridge, crackers or cookies. More water and exercise. No candy. No fry bread. More metabolism boosting foods. No eating before 8am or after 8pm. Sit ups and leg lifts. Running. Biking. More exercise again. Restricting. I must lose at least one measly kilogram before I go back there.
Total calorie intake for today: Unknown.
Total expenditure: Unknown.
Plan for tomorrow: Restriction and exercise.
Wish me luck lovelies <3
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| One day I will have a body like this <3 |
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
That's right my lovelies, I'm back from my three days of clubbing / getting completely trashed. There's only a couple of problems with that; 1} I only got semi-drunk on the first night and elected to stay sober for the other two and 2} We only went clubbing two nights out of three because we were too drunk and snuggly on the first night to go out.
Wednesday night: There was a pyjama party at a club so during the day we went to town and stocked up on alcohol, fatty food {cringe} and pyjamas to wear! Well, we got as far as the alcohol and fatty food. I had two litres of Malibu rum with apple and guava which was amazing. It was only 5.4% alcohol but it tasted like lolly water so I was drinking at least three glasses every fifteen minutes. Add that to the fact that I had little to no food the whole day and you got one semi-drunk person. It was quite nice. That's the closest to being drunk I have been in a very, very long time. Someone even took advantage of my drunkeness and I ended up having a nice little snuggle while he had his hand down my pants but no sex was involved. My friend banged him about three or four days before me and I had heard that he was awful so no thank you, I'll find someone good ;] The snuggling and fingering was good though. It took all my will-power to actually say no. We fell asleep in each others arms, it was adorable. Just like in the movies, just minus the whole 'love' part ;]
Thursday AKA the best night of my life: Thursday was pretty much just a normal day. We fucked around doing nothing; went into town to buy more alcohol, get MORE fatty food and just strolled around the shops. It was lovely. I actually was in major health kick mode and I got SUSHI. I ate about half of it then felt sick so I threw out the rest. Woohoo, less calories! The rest of the day just passed by in a blur. My friend and her boyfriend fought, a lot. They fought the whole time we were there. Three days of arguments and fighting. Not good. It stopped as soon as he got legals though - bloody typical druggie if you ask me. Well we went out clubbing and I PULLED A HOT GUY. He's so ridiculously good looking. If it wasn't for my friend then it wouldn't have happened too. It started with innocently dancing in front of him which turned into grinding on him which turned to hooking up with him. Oh yes. He had a sleeve, well half of one. It was sexy as fuck. I would have jumped him in the middle of the club if I had the opportunity. After a day of badness that was definitely the best ending I could have hoped for. I now have his number and I'm searching for him on Facebook but that's easier said than done. I still haven't found him and I've been looking for ageeeeeeeees >.<
Friday: My friend and her boyfriend were fighting again. We went down to the bus station to pick up another friend. They had McDonald's for breakfast and I just sat there watching them while my stomach gurgled but I resisted. No fatty McDonald's for me. We took the friend to the hospital so he could visit his family. We then went to town and wandered around for a while because the house was locked and we couldn't get back inside. When we finally got back home they started fighting again. We went to the brothel to visit some friends. They were amazing. I love them. The best people you could find probably work in a brothel. No joke. They're lovely people but they're 'shunned' by the people who know what they do because they just make assumptions about them. It's not nice. We got more fatty food, my two vices: bacon and cheese shapes and Belgium slice. Thankfully the girls at the brothel ate most of it. Woohoo! LESS CALORIES. That night we went to a concert and wow, it was crazy. I've never been to a concert or IN a moshpit so I was trampled. I'm only little and people took that as a chance to jump on me, push me, kick me, hit me and just generally beat me up. After an hour of it I was getting annoyed so I just elbowed anyone who touched me. I went downstairs with some friends and we just sat in the smoking area and listened to the rest of the concert. I liked that a lot better. After it was over they wanted to go clubbing and I was keen, until I got to the actual club. People were grabbing my ass, shoving me and just being generally annoying. I wasn't having fun so I ended up walking home by myself and went to sleep. I have to admit, I hated that night. The best part of it was the walk home because I knew I was getting exercise. Pathetic, right?
That leaves today, Saturday. We cleaned up our stuff and I'm currently sitting on the floor of my room in my free t-shirt that I got from the bottle shop. It says only guilty of looking great. It's awesome. I quite like my shirt. And I also have good news: I only gained .2kg the whole time and that was after eating candy, pizza, tonnes of bread and other crappy food too AND it's the middle of the day after I ate a bunch of food. So hopefully tomorrow it'll be even lower. I would be happy just to maintain actually. We'll see.
Stay strong lovelies <3
xo
Wednesday night: There was a pyjama party at a club so during the day we went to town and stocked up on alcohol, fatty food {cringe} and pyjamas to wear! Well, we got as far as the alcohol and fatty food. I had two litres of Malibu rum with apple and guava which was amazing. It was only 5.4% alcohol but it tasted like lolly water so I was drinking at least three glasses every fifteen minutes. Add that to the fact that I had little to no food the whole day and you got one semi-drunk person. It was quite nice. That's the closest to being drunk I have been in a very, very long time. Someone even took advantage of my drunkeness and I ended up having a nice little snuggle while he had his hand down my pants but no sex was involved. My friend banged him about three or four days before me and I had heard that he was awful so no thank you, I'll find someone good ;] The snuggling and fingering was good though. It took all my will-power to actually say no. We fell asleep in each others arms, it was adorable. Just like in the movies, just minus the whole 'love' part ;]
Thursday AKA the best night of my life: Thursday was pretty much just a normal day. We fucked around doing nothing; went into town to buy more alcohol, get MORE fatty food and just strolled around the shops. It was lovely. I actually was in major health kick mode and I got SUSHI. I ate about half of it then felt sick so I threw out the rest. Woohoo, less calories! The rest of the day just passed by in a blur. My friend and her boyfriend fought, a lot. They fought the whole time we were there. Three days of arguments and fighting. Not good. It stopped as soon as he got legals though - bloody typical druggie if you ask me. Well we went out clubbing and I PULLED A HOT GUY. He's so ridiculously good looking. If it wasn't for my friend then it wouldn't have happened too. It started with innocently dancing in front of him which turned into grinding on him which turned to hooking up with him. Oh yes. He had a sleeve, well half of one. It was sexy as fuck. I would have jumped him in the middle of the club if I had the opportunity. After a day of badness that was definitely the best ending I could have hoped for. I now have his number and I'm searching for him on Facebook but that's easier said than done. I still haven't found him and I've been looking for ageeeeeeeees >.<
Friday: My friend and her boyfriend were fighting again. We went down to the bus station to pick up another friend. They had McDonald's for breakfast and I just sat there watching them while my stomach gurgled but I resisted. No fatty McDonald's for me. We took the friend to the hospital so he could visit his family. We then went to town and wandered around for a while because the house was locked and we couldn't get back inside. When we finally got back home they started fighting again. We went to the brothel to visit some friends. They were amazing. I love them. The best people you could find probably work in a brothel. No joke. They're lovely people but they're 'shunned' by the people who know what they do because they just make assumptions about them. It's not nice. We got more fatty food, my two vices: bacon and cheese shapes and Belgium slice. Thankfully the girls at the brothel ate most of it. Woohoo! LESS CALORIES. That night we went to a concert and wow, it was crazy. I've never been to a concert or IN a moshpit so I was trampled. I'm only little and people took that as a chance to jump on me, push me, kick me, hit me and just generally beat me up. After an hour of it I was getting annoyed so I just elbowed anyone who touched me. I went downstairs with some friends and we just sat in the smoking area and listened to the rest of the concert. I liked that a lot better. After it was over they wanted to go clubbing and I was keen, until I got to the actual club. People were grabbing my ass, shoving me and just being generally annoying. I wasn't having fun so I ended up walking home by myself and went to sleep. I have to admit, I hated that night. The best part of it was the walk home because I knew I was getting exercise. Pathetic, right?
That leaves today, Saturday. We cleaned up our stuff and I'm currently sitting on the floor of my room in my free t-shirt that I got from the bottle shop. It says only guilty of looking great. It's awesome. I quite like my shirt. And I also have good news: I only gained .2kg the whole time and that was after eating candy, pizza, tonnes of bread and other crappy food too AND it's the middle of the day after I ate a bunch of food. So hopefully tomorrow it'll be even lower. I would be happy just to maintain actually. We'll see.
Stay strong lovelies <3
xo
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Silver lining, sort of.
Well, I woke up and I was at 45.1kg - the same weight as yesterday. That annoyed me to no end, I did everything the same as yesterday and I didn't lose any weight! Now I'm going to my friend's house for a couple of days and I'm probably going to end up gaining all of it back. Again. Ugh >.< I'm excited and everything but I just don't want to gain any weight.
The silver lining, at least I maintained. It could have been a lot worse considering all the candy and home baking that I ate yesterday! So really, I got off lightly or that's what I think. I've come to a decision that I'm not going to drink for the next three days though. I refuse to drink away my calories. So instead I'm going to search for some low calorie or sugar-free energy drinks. That should be good enough to keep me going for the night. We'll see. I have a weakness when it comes to moscato so I might get one bottle for the three days. There's no harm really, I'd dance all the calories off anyway. Hopefully.
Today I'm going shopping for some pyjamas that I can wear tonight. Yeah, I'm going to a pyjama themed party and I don't actually own pyjamas of my own. I would wear my sisters but it turns out she sleeps naked >.< So that options out too. Oh well, it'll still be a good time I just don't wanna anticipate how much money I have to spend for the next three days! I don't like seeing my hard earned cashed go down the drain, so to speak.
Anyway, I must go now. We're leaving in about two hours and I haven't had breakfast, a shower or packed yet! So much to do and so little time! On the plus side, I have managed to do 100 sit ups and leg lifts this morning so I'm happy. It's not as much as I usually do but since I've gotten so slack with my ab exercises I'm happy that I bothered to do some at all. I'll update the blog when I get back!
Stay strong lovelies <3
xo
The silver lining, at least I maintained. It could have been a lot worse considering all the candy and home baking that I ate yesterday! So really, I got off lightly or that's what I think. I've come to a decision that I'm not going to drink for the next three days though. I refuse to drink away my calories. So instead I'm going to search for some low calorie or sugar-free energy drinks. That should be good enough to keep me going for the night. We'll see. I have a weakness when it comes to moscato so I might get one bottle for the three days. There's no harm really, I'd dance all the calories off anyway. Hopefully.
Today I'm going shopping for some pyjamas that I can wear tonight. Yeah, I'm going to a pyjama themed party and I don't actually own pyjamas of my own. I would wear my sisters but it turns out she sleeps naked >.< So that options out too. Oh well, it'll still be a good time I just don't wanna anticipate how much money I have to spend for the next three days! I don't like seeing my hard earned cashed go down the drain, so to speak.
Anyway, I must go now. We're leaving in about two hours and I haven't had breakfast, a shower or packed yet! So much to do and so little time! On the plus side, I have managed to do 100 sit ups and leg lifts this morning so I'm happy. It's not as much as I usually do but since I've gotten so slack with my ab exercises I'm happy that I bothered to do some at all. I'll update the blog when I get back!
Stay strong lovelies <3
xo
Food diary!
I forgot to post my food diary for yesterday so yes, I'm posting it this morning! Don't judge me, I do tend to get a little slack on the blogging front. Life happens, you know?
Breakfast: 96 calories
Moconna instant coffee: 2 calories
Splenda: 0 calories
Extra slim budget milk: 19 calories
Home baking: 25 calories
Small orange: 50 calories
Lunch: 293 calories
Arnott's cruskit light. 8 crackers: 172 calories
Cracked pepper pate, 40g: 121 calories
Snack: 150 calories
Home baking: 150 calories
Opps: 300 calories
The dreaded candy: 300 calories {approx}
Dinner: 255 calories
Beef schnitzel, crumbed and fried: 86 calories
Coke zero, 300mL: 1 calorie
Splenda: 0 calories
Extra slim budget milk: 19 calories
Moconna instant coffee: 2 calories
Cracked pepper pate and crackers: 150 calories {approx}
Daily goal: 700 calories
Calories consumed: 1,094
Exercise calories: 496 calories
'Extra calories': 1,196 calories {Due to exercise I can 'eat back' the calories I burned}
Total net calories: 598 calories
Breakfast: 96 calories
Moconna instant coffee: 2 calories
Splenda: 0 calories
Extra slim budget milk: 19 calories
Home baking: 25 calories
Small orange: 50 calories
Lunch: 293 calories
Arnott's cruskit light. 8 crackers: 172 calories
Cracked pepper pate, 40g: 121 calories
Snack: 150 calories
Home baking: 150 calories
Opps: 300 calories
The dreaded candy: 300 calories {approx}
Dinner: 255 calories
Beef schnitzel, crumbed and fried: 86 calories
Coke zero, 300mL: 1 calorie
Splenda: 0 calories
Extra slim budget milk: 19 calories
Moconna instant coffee: 2 calories
Cracked pepper pate and crackers: 150 calories {approx}
Daily goal: 700 calories
Calories consumed: 1,094
Exercise calories: 496 calories
'Extra calories': 1,196 calories {Due to exercise I can 'eat back' the calories I burned}
Total net calories: 598 calories
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Lessons learnt...
I've learnt something today: Never go food shopping when you're hungry.
I think that's the most important thing I've learnt in a long, long time. I went food shopping today, just grabbing a couple of small things that I could take to my friend's house tomorrow. That's right, I'm actually going out for once! It's O Week here in New Zealand so everyone is going crazy in town and even though I don't go to university I'm definitely getting in there! So for the next couple of days, Wednesday-Friday, I'm going to be going crazy in the clubs! Hopefully I can be down another 1.1kg before I get there! That would make everything so much better! I was in such a good mood today because I had lost weight. If it's up again tomorrow I think I'll go insane.
Anyway, I was wandering around the supermarket today and I must have looked like a loon. The first time I walked around I grabbed everything I wanted and put it into my basket. I looked down and saw that it was full of candy and biscuits; I was disgusted. The second time I walked around I put everything back on the shelves. The third time I walked around I went to the exact same things, pulled the items off the shelves and read the nutritional information on the back, calculated calories, made a ewww face and put it back on the shelves. The fourth time I walked around the store I was scanning for anything that was low calorie that I would put in my basket. What did I end up with? A packet of chewing gum.
Then I went to a smaller shop to buy a top up card. Not that hard, right? Well right next to the counter is a huge display of candy. I grabbed three bags and paid for them before I knew what was happening. I had opened the bags and eaten all of them before I knew what was happening too. I estimate that was 300 calories between the three bags. 300 calories that I didn't need to have. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I'm disgusting.
I can't believe I could put back larger bags of candy, crisps, crackers and biscuits from the supermarket but as soon as I saw them in the smaller shop I had to have them. Just ugh. I have no logic. There is obviously something wrong with my brain.
That being said, I'm sitting at a {more or less} comfortable net calorie total of 549 calories even though I've technically had 794 today. Thank goodness for housework! I'm planning on burning even more calories by doing some sit ups, jumping jacks, leg lifts and a short 2km walk I think. That will probably add up to be another hour of exercise for today. Not that bad really.
I think that's the most important thing I've learnt in a long, long time. I went food shopping today, just grabbing a couple of small things that I could take to my friend's house tomorrow. That's right, I'm actually going out for once! It's O Week here in New Zealand so everyone is going crazy in town and even though I don't go to university I'm definitely getting in there! So for the next couple of days, Wednesday-Friday, I'm going to be going crazy in the clubs! Hopefully I can be down another 1.1kg before I get there! That would make everything so much better! I was in such a good mood today because I had lost weight. If it's up again tomorrow I think I'll go insane.
Anyway, I was wandering around the supermarket today and I must have looked like a loon. The first time I walked around I grabbed everything I wanted and put it into my basket. I looked down and saw that it was full of candy and biscuits; I was disgusted. The second time I walked around I put everything back on the shelves. The third time I walked around I went to the exact same things, pulled the items off the shelves and read the nutritional information on the back, calculated calories, made a ewww face and put it back on the shelves. The fourth time I walked around the store I was scanning for anything that was low calorie that I would put in my basket. What did I end up with? A packet of chewing gum.
Then I went to a smaller shop to buy a top up card. Not that hard, right? Well right next to the counter is a huge display of candy. I grabbed three bags and paid for them before I knew what was happening. I had opened the bags and eaten all of them before I knew what was happening too. I estimate that was 300 calories between the three bags. 300 calories that I didn't need to have. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I'm disgusting.
I can't believe I could put back larger bags of candy, crisps, crackers and biscuits from the supermarket but as soon as I saw them in the smaller shop I had to have them. Just ugh. I have no logic. There is obviously something wrong with my brain.
That being said, I'm sitting at a {more or less} comfortable net calorie total of 549 calories even though I've technically had 794 today. Thank goodness for housework! I'm planning on burning even more calories by doing some sit ups, jumping jacks, leg lifts and a short 2km walk I think. That will probably add up to be another hour of exercise for today. Not that bad really.
 |
| Honestly what the pile of candy beside the counter looked like..Ugh >.< |
Result! :)
I know I might be speaking too soon since weight fluctuates every day but I stepped on the scale this morning and I was 45.1kg / 99.4lb! This means that I've lost 1.1kg / 2.4lb in one day! That makes me so fricking happy! It makes me feel less guilty about eating those peanut m&ms and my mum's home baking! Yipee! :D On a side note, it's extremely fucked up how those three measly numbers on a scale can dictate whether or not I'm going to have a good day. I think that's the one thing I hate about this but I have to go and weigh myself every morning. I don't really have a choice in the matter.
Since I've reached this weight it means I'm only another 1.1kg / 2.4lb away from my first goal weight! Technically, I could reach that tomorrow if I do the exact same thing as yesterday! 863 net calories and 427 calories burned from exercise. I'm sure I can do that! :D
Right now it's 10am and I'm getting hunger pangs deep down in my stomach so I think I'm going to go and drink the rest of my Coke zero and see how I feel after that! :D It's 0 calories so I can't feel guilty about drinking it either! Result! I have a feeling I'm going to become quite dependent on these drinks sometime soon. I have heard that they make it harder to lose weight though so maybe not >.< That would be the opposite of what I want!
I've thought about it and I'm going to have the rest of my coke, a glass of ice water and a small orange. I've put all of it through mfp and it'll be under 60 calories so I'm not complaining! I've already done exercise this morning {sit ups and cleaning = 106 calories burned} so I'll still be in the negatives even after my meal!
Okay, that was all I had to say! I'm off to stuff my body with calories now! I'll update later! :)
Stay strong lovelies <3
Since I've reached this weight it means I'm only another 1.1kg / 2.4lb away from my first goal weight! Technically, I could reach that tomorrow if I do the exact same thing as yesterday! 863 net calories and 427 calories burned from exercise. I'm sure I can do that! :D
Right now it's 10am and I'm getting hunger pangs deep down in my stomach so I think I'm going to go and drink the rest of my Coke zero and see how I feel after that! :D It's 0 calories so I can't feel guilty about drinking it either! Result! I have a feeling I'm going to become quite dependent on these drinks sometime soon. I have heard that they make it harder to lose weight though so maybe not >.< That would be the opposite of what I want!
I've thought about it and I'm going to have the rest of my coke, a glass of ice water and a small orange. I've put all of it through mfp and it'll be under 60 calories so I'm not complaining! I've already done exercise this morning {sit ups and cleaning = 106 calories burned} so I'll still be in the negatives even after my meal!
Okay, that was all I had to say! I'm off to stuff my body with calories now! I'll update later! :)
Stay strong lovelies <3
 |
| Can I have a body like this? Pretty please? |
Monday, 16 July 2012
Food diary!
Well, today wasn't so horrible if I have to be completely honest. No, I didn't stick to eating only fruits and vegetables today and no, I didn't eat only 'healthy' foods but I did manage to stay under my calorie goal. You know, net calories anyway. I'm still trying to decide if I want to only eat 700 calories per day or if I want to be at net 700 :/ Hm, decisions, decisions. I think I'll just try to stay at 700 calories net for the moment and see where it leads me. I might just decrease it to 600 net or whatnot later on. We'll see. What's your opinion on the matter?
Lately I really have been so incredibly horny and I have no way to deal with it. Ugh. It's really beginning to be such a problem. Like right now I would like nothing more than a man to bend me over and fuck me doggie style or for a woman to slowly lick me, all over ;] Oh yes, news flash: I'm bi-sexual. Don't like it? Then get off my page. The tension is killing me but I said I wasn't going to do anything sexual until I got a boyfriend or girlfriend I guess. We'll see what happens ;] Until then I'm stuck with blogging late at night while secretly wishing that someone will come and take away this burning desire. I'm sure it's slowly killing me, even more than being fat is >.< Anyway, I've been rambling. I tend to get like that when I have sex on the brain. Here's my food diary:
Breakfast: 50 calories
Small orange: 50 calories
Lunch: 271 calories
Moconna instant coffee: 2 calories
Extra slim budget milk, 50mL: 19 calories
Splenda: 0 calories
Crumbed, spicy chicken leg: 90 calories {approx}
Home baking: 110 calories >.<
Snack: 390 calories
Peanut m&m's: 228 calories
Arnott's light cruskit, 4 crackers: 86 calories
Brenton cracked pepper pate: 76 calories
Dinner: 152 calories
Home baking: 150 calories
Coke zero, 300mL: 2 calories
Daily goal: 700 calories
Total net calories: 863 calories
Calories lost from exercise: 427 calories
Allowance from exercise: 1,127 calories
So I'm aiming to have a daily intake of around 700 calories but if I do exercise then I'm 'allowed' to eat more than I would on a normal day. So today I burned 427 calories from actual exercise so I was allowed to eat 427 more calories than normal, making my 'daily goal' for today a grand total of 1,127 calories. I think I'm going to make a new rule: Never eat more than half of what you burn. So if I burn 400 calories a day I'm only allowed to eat an extra 200 calories. If I keep this up it should mean that I'll never eat over 1,000 calories a day. Just thinking about doing that makes me a little nervous actually. 1,000 is such an unsafe number. 700 is good. 700 is safe. 700 is familiar.
I also just calculated my BMR on a tonne of different sites and all of them say the same, well mostly the same. On five different sites it says I should be eating between 1,307-1,311 calories per day because that's how many my body burns just to keep itself going. But on myfitnesspal {the only site I truly trust} it says that I can have 1,242 calories per day to keep my body functioning normally. That being said, I'm eating nearly half of what I should be. Just from eating 700 calories per day and having no exercise I should technically be in the negatives. -542 to be exact. Scary but exciting. More calories burned is more weight loss for me!
I hope your day has been better than mine. I really need to learn how to control my food cravings :S
Stay strong lovelies <3
Lately I really have been so incredibly horny and I have no way to deal with it. Ugh. It's really beginning to be such a problem. Like right now I would like nothing more than a man to bend me over and fuck me doggie style or for a woman to slowly lick me, all over ;] Oh yes, news flash: I'm bi-sexual. Don't like it? Then get off my page. The tension is killing me but I said I wasn't going to do anything sexual until I got a boyfriend or girlfriend I guess. We'll see what happens ;] Until then I'm stuck with blogging late at night while secretly wishing that someone will come and take away this burning desire. I'm sure it's slowly killing me, even more than being fat is >.< Anyway, I've been rambling. I tend to get like that when I have sex on the brain. Here's my food diary:
Breakfast: 50 calories
Small orange: 50 calories
Lunch: 271 calories
Moconna instant coffee: 2 calories
Extra slim budget milk, 50mL: 19 calories
Splenda: 0 calories
Crumbed, spicy chicken leg: 90 calories {approx}
Home baking: 110 calories >.<
Snack: 390 calories
Peanut m&m's: 228 calories
Arnott's light cruskit, 4 crackers: 86 calories
Brenton cracked pepper pate: 76 calories
Dinner: 152 calories
Home baking: 150 calories
Coke zero, 300mL: 2 calories
Daily goal: 700 calories
Total net calories: 863 calories
Calories lost from exercise: 427 calories
Allowance from exercise: 1,127 calories
So I'm aiming to have a daily intake of around 700 calories but if I do exercise then I'm 'allowed' to eat more than I would on a normal day. So today I burned 427 calories from actual exercise so I was allowed to eat 427 more calories than normal, making my 'daily goal' for today a grand total of 1,127 calories. I think I'm going to make a new rule: Never eat more than half of what you burn. So if I burn 400 calories a day I'm only allowed to eat an extra 200 calories. If I keep this up it should mean that I'll never eat over 1,000 calories a day. Just thinking about doing that makes me a little nervous actually. 1,000 is such an unsafe number. 700 is good. 700 is safe. 700 is familiar.
I also just calculated my BMR on a tonne of different sites and all of them say the same, well mostly the same. On five different sites it says I should be eating between 1,307-1,311 calories per day because that's how many my body burns just to keep itself going. But on myfitnesspal {the only site I truly trust} it says that I can have 1,242 calories per day to keep my body functioning normally. That being said, I'm eating nearly half of what I should be. Just from eating 700 calories per day and having no exercise I should technically be in the negatives. -542 to be exact. Scary but exciting. More calories burned is more weight loss for me!
I hope your day has been better than mine. I really need to learn how to control my food cravings :S
Stay strong lovelies <3
It's official.
I'm fat. Just look at my progress page and you'll think the same thing. 46.2kg or 102lb does not sit well on a 5'4 girl at all. Whenever someone hears my weight it's always the same thing 'Oh you're so skinny, you don't need to lose weight!' But if only they knew what it was really like. It's awful. I have a baby bump. When I wear clothing it looks like I'm pregnant, honestly. Who would find that attractive at all? Certainly not me, that's for sure.
I managed to put on 2kg or 4.4lb in two days. Who the fuck does that?! Honestly. My mother said it was 'water weight' and it'll go away in the next day or two. Well newsflash mother: it hasn't. Ugh. I hate my body.
Yesterday I posted a food diary and I spoke about the pavlova slice that had been left for us at the house. Well, I caved and had some along with a giant cup of hot chocolate which equalled about 90 calories all up. Awful. When I picked up the slice I knew I shouldn't have eaten it because it felt so heavy in my hand. I thought pavlova was supposed to be LIGHT. Not this sucker obviously >.< I was going to put it down but my mum's friend saw me pick it up so I had to eat it. Ugh. I ended up cutting the slice in half though and then took the smallest half, so it can't be that bad...Right? I don't know how many calories were in it and I'm kind of freaking out. Even in normal circumstances pavlova isn't the most healthy thing >.< No more pavlova.
 |
| The evil pavlova >.< |
So today I had to weigh in to see if I gained, maintained or lost. Obviously I was hoping to lose weight but in the back on my mind I knew it wasn't possible too. I was right, I've maintained. 46.2kg/102lb. That's what I woke up to. A mass of fat. But really, I suppose it's better than gaining and I could have done that so easily too. So in a small way, I'm grateful that I maintained. Thank you food gods.
Now I have a plan for today and with a little bit of luck I shall be seeing 45kg {ish} tomorrow! What's my master plan? Simple: only eat fruit or vegetables and drink water. I do love coffee though so once I've had one bottle of water I can have a cup of coffee but not before that bottle is empty. So that's my diet plan for today. Exercise wise I think I'm just going on the treadmill for 30-60 minutes, do some jumping jacks, do some cleaning and then I'm planning on doing 250 sit ups, some leg lifts, planks and wall sits tonight. Hopefully I'll actually have the motivation to do all of that today. Since I've written it down I kind of feel like I have to do it otherwise I'm a failure. I WILL DO IT. Believe me. I will not be a failure. That isn't an option anymore.
I'll be back later tonight to update you on my day, the food diary and whether or not I followed my exercise plan today. Stay strong lovelies <3
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Food diary!
Well, today is the first day of my food diary. This could be interesting because I treated today as a 'free day' rather than a day when I was trying to actively lose weight. So because of that I'm not entirely sure how many calories I've had today and that scares me :/ I don't like not knowing how much I've had to eat. It makes me anxious. What's done is done though, no point in being stuck in the past. I'll try to move on and learn from today. Hopefully.
Breakfast: 134 calories
Uncle Toby's quick sachet creamy honey porridge: 134 calories
Lunch: 284 calories
1 small banana: 90 calories
Extra slim budget milk, 50mL: 19 calories
Vanilla essence: 6 calories
Gold kiwifruit: 45 calories
Maple syrup: 11 calories
Yoplait French Vanilla yogurt: 35 calories
Home baking: 75 calories {approx}
Snack: 558 calories
Homemade beef taco salad: 478 calories {approx, probably less}
Home baking: 80 calories {approx}
Dinner: 91 calories
Lettuce: 11 calories
Egg whites: 17 calories
1/2 medium carrot: 14 calories
1/4 medium tomato: 6 calories
Lite&free feta and garlic dressing: 27 calories
Ham: 17 calories
Daily goal: 700 calories
Allowance from exercise: 941 calories
Total net calories: 1,066
Calories lost from exercise: 241 {so far}.
Like I said, today was the last 'free day' that I'm going to have and since I've already royally fucked it up I think I'm just going to have a piece of pavlova slice too. Maybe. I might just have a coffee instead. 20 calories of something that will fill me up compared to an unknown number of sickly sweet sugary calories will always win out. Coffee it is. You guys read it, I choose coffee. Or water. Water is safer. Water has no calories. Water it is. Not coffee or pavlova slice. Just water. Ugh.
Breakfast: 134 calories
Uncle Toby's quick sachet creamy honey porridge: 134 calories
Lunch: 284 calories
1 small banana: 90 calories
Extra slim budget milk, 50mL: 19 calories
Vanilla essence: 6 calories
Gold kiwifruit: 45 calories
Maple syrup: 11 calories
Yoplait French Vanilla yogurt: 35 calories
Home baking: 75 calories {approx}
Snack: 558 calories
Homemade beef taco salad: 478 calories {approx, probably less}
Home baking: 80 calories {approx}
Dinner: 91 calories
Lettuce: 11 calories
Egg whites: 17 calories
1/2 medium carrot: 14 calories
1/4 medium tomato: 6 calories
Lite&free feta and garlic dressing: 27 calories
Ham: 17 calories
Daily goal: 700 calories
Allowance from exercise: 941 calories
Total net calories: 1,066
Calories lost from exercise: 241 {so far}.
Like I said, today was the last 'free day' that I'm going to have and since I've already royally fucked it up I think I'm just going to have a piece of pavlova slice too. Maybe. I might just have a coffee instead. 20 calories of something that will fill me up compared to an unknown number of sickly sweet sugary calories will always win out. Coffee it is. You guys read it, I choose coffee. Or water. Water is safer. Water has no calories. Water it is. Not coffee or pavlova slice. Just water. Ugh.
You have to begin somewhere.
Those are words I've heard over and over again. You have to begin somewhere. So I'm starting at the bottom and working my way up. This post is just going to be my goals, dates and stats of where I am right now. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I'm going to upload progress pictures. I hate my stomach. I hate my thighs. I hate my ass. I don't really want to take photos of them but if I don't I'm 99% sure I won't see the progress for myself if I don't.
Last year I lost 10kg and I didn't see where I lost it. To me my whole body was still chubby despite the fact that everyone was commenting on 'how slim' I had gotten. I had lost 10kg {around 20lb} in the space of a month. It was amazing. I felt like I was on cloud nine when I saw those numbers getting smaller and smaller. Soon the number on the scale began to dictate my mood and how my day would be. If it was a high number then I would have a bad day, if it was a low number then it would be a good day and I might allow myself a small treat. Afterwards I would question my sanity and make sure I burned twice the amount of calories at the end of the day. Back then I was surviving on 500-600 calories per day and I was burning about half of that through running and various exercises. So now I'm going to {vaguely} follow the same plan and hope like hell for the same results.
My goals:
Last year I lost 10kg and I didn't see where I lost it. To me my whole body was still chubby despite the fact that everyone was commenting on 'how slim' I had gotten. I had lost 10kg {around 20lb} in the space of a month. It was amazing. I felt like I was on cloud nine when I saw those numbers getting smaller and smaller. Soon the number on the scale began to dictate my mood and how my day would be. If it was a high number then I would have a bad day, if it was a low number then it would be a good day and I might allow myself a small treat. Afterwards I would question my sanity and make sure I burned twice the amount of calories at the end of the day. Back then I was surviving on 500-600 calories per day and I was burning about half of that through running and various exercises. So now I'm going to {vaguely} follow the same plan and hope like hell for the same results.
My goals:
- Lose 8.2kg which is roughly 18lb.
- Thigh gap, flat stomach, ribs and collarbone <3
- Run or walk 4km per day.
- Drink at least a litre of water per day.
- Do at least 100 sit ups and leg lifts per day.
After I went to America and went on birth control I gained weight and it did come off eventually but it's made a reappearance after I dated a guy a month ago. We just ate fast food every time we were together and I gained 5.2kg or 11.5lb when I was with him. We broke up a while ago and now I'm even more determined to get rid of this weight. Even more, I want to get down to the weight I was before I went to America which was 38.5kg or 85lb.
My stats:
LW: 38.5kg / 85lb
CW: 46.2kg / 102lb
HW: 50.1kg / 110lb
Neck: 11.0"
Waist {small}: 24.5"
Waist {large}: 27"
Hips: 30.5"
Thighs: 18.5"
These are my stats now. They will change. I am determined now. Nothing and no one will stop me.
Goal weights:
GW#1: 44kg / 97lb
GW#2: 42kg / 93lb
GW#3: 40kg / 88lb
UGW: 38.5 / 85lb
I have to admit, the last time I was 38.5kg or 85lb I was fourteen years old and I'm eighteen now. This goal might be a little unrealistic or 'crazy' to some people but hey, I acknowledge that but it's my body and I can do what I want. I will be doing a weekly 'weigh in' on Sundays and I'll measure myself as well then write a lovely post for you guys. I'm also going to be writing a daily 'food and exercise diary' so I can track what I eat and how often I exercise. I do have an account on myfitnesspal so feel free to add me if you're on there too! Just tell me who you are and how you found me then I'll accept <3
Stay strong lovelies, we can do this <3
xo
Introductions - for those of you who don't know me but SHOULD.
Welcome to my blog!
I see you've found it alright, is it exactly what you were expecting? Another teenager with 'weight issues' off on a mission to make herself feel better by dropping the pounds on her own. If you've come to this blog expecting that then congratulations you are definitely in the right place. If you came here to see healthy food recipes then maybe you should go back to Google and start your search over again.
I remember the first time someone told me I was fat or could do with losing some weight. I was twelve years old and it was at my first camping trip in high school. They threw a group of us together and sent us up the side of a mountain hoping that we would 'bond' during the experience. Well I'm blessed with a condition called Asthma so while many people were walking up the tracks with ease, it felt like I was being pulled down by the sheer weight of my pack. I struggled. That wasn't the worst part though. When we finally got to the huts we had 'free time' in which we could mingle or start sorting out our dinner plans. We were young so of course no one worried about dinner - that could be a bowl of cereal if we ran out of preparation and cooking time.
We elected to sit in a cabin and get to know each other better. This is where it begins. You know how you sit down and your stomach pops out a little bit? Well, mine was doing that and apparently it was pretty obvious to everyone but me until one boy made a comment that I've never forgotten: 'It looks like you have a beer belly.' Now, I know that's nothing overly bad but it's a comment that has stuck in my mind forever. I was under the impression that I looked like the younger version of Santa Claus or something. Horrified, I sucked in my stomach and it has remained that way for the past five years.
I know - five years is a long time. I probably could have gotten skinny by now, if I had the motivation. Until quite recently I was okay with having to suck in my stomach. No one knew what I was doing so no one was getting hurt. Until I realised my self-esteem was. I want to be the one who turns heads in the street. I want to be the one that looks good in clothes and when I'm naked. I want to be that girl that everyone is jealous of. I want to be the girl who can eat whatever she wants and appears to gain no weight.
Is that too much to ask?
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